Homeschooling Hedgehog: 1

I found these graphics on Pinterest ....  I had to share!  There are a lot of them so I'll share them in a few posts .....
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Couple Homeschool Funnies

You Know You Homeschool ... (are homeschooled...)

You try to (quickly) capture the huge bee that was knocked unconscious as it accidentally flew into your car window, so the kids can classify and inspect it.

Your bank statement reflects the fact that you spend more at Books-A-Million than at fancy clothing stores.

You've got more books and bookcases than anyone you know.

You DREAM of a room (or even a whole house!) with wall to wall, ceiling to floor bookshelves.

The walls of your dining room are decorated with posters of the US Presidents, Periodic Table of Elements, Map of the Moon, Spanish Conjugation Chart and a copy of the Declaration of Independence, not to mention a poster of the Ten Commandments since no one can tell you not to!

You have children draped all over the furniture....and they're reading...for the FUN of it!

Your children actually enjoy spending time with their family, even their siblings!

Your children aren't embarrassed to be seen playing with someone younger than they are!

You are on a first name basis with the majority of local librarians.

You've laughed out loud when someone asked you "What about socialization?"

If you have ever thought about answering the following questions like this:

Do your parents make you homeschool?
*Yes, they do. In my heart of hearts, I really *want* to spend 6 hours a day in a stuffy classroom filled with stupid people, listening to a rude and irrational teacher rant incessantly.

Do you have any friends?
*No, I'm a misanthrope sociopath who would rather die a thousand deaths than be socialized normally.

How do you meet people?
*I have found that painting myself blue and running through the streets screaming is a very effective way to meet people.

Do you get graded?
*Grades are determined each semester by a coin toss.

How do you know what to do without a teacher telling you?
*I visit the library and pick books at random. Those books then become my curriculum for that semester. Last semester, I studied alternative physics, macamre, tomato growing, and plot flaws in Star Trek the Next Generation episodes.

How do you remember to work without a teacher nagging you?
*I bribe myself. Whenever I finish a homework assignment, I give myself a gold star or a cookie.

Is homeschooling legal?
*No. In fact, you could even be arrested for aiding and abbeting a criminal just by talking to me!
Or .......
*Yes. The government wants as many of us smartaleck, self motivating brats out of their high schools as possible.

Do you like homeschooling?
*Not particularly. I tolerate homeschooling only because the alternative is so horrendous.

Are you going to homeschool your kids?
*Certainly! In fact, my children will undergo an accelerated education, so that they are ready for college classes by the age of 10.

You must be pretty smart to homeschool, huh?
*Actually, my intelligence level is below normal. I have simply aquired an immense vocabulary through memorization, which often fools humans into believing that I am more intelligent than I actually am.

You Know You Are Homeschooled If...

1. You've been asked "so, like, do you have any friends?"
2. You've experienced the pain of BJU Press
3. sometimes mixed with Saxon math
4. You've been asked "so you get to do whatever you want all day?"
5. You've been asked "can you do school in your pajamas?"
6. More than one of your friends lives in the country.
7. You've ever been enrolled in The Potters School.
8. You have at least two friends that have 4 or more siblings.
9. You've been asked "so who teaches you?"
10. Upon hearing the answer "my mom" they've asked, "did she have to like go to college to be a teacher?"
11. You've actually heard of Kutless.
12. You and all your friends know Rosetta Stone is the best language program.
13. You've been asked "do you have gym class?"
14. You classify the world into two types of people- the people that say "LUCKY!" upon hearing you're homeschooled, and the people that say "wow that must stink" when hearing it.
15. You've been asked many times when you get up in the morning.
16. You're sick of people asking you when school ends and when school starts each day.
17. You don't understand how lucky you are that you don't have to eat cafeteria food.
18. You wake up every morning laughing, knowing that your public school friends are already in first or second period.
19. 2/3s of all your "field trips" take place in your back yard.
20. You know you've found someone extraordinary when they can actually make a half-decent homeschool joke.
21. You know that if that defines extraordinary, about 1 in every 50 people are extraordinary.
22. When you go out to stores during school hours you're asked "school kids have the day off today?"
23. You try ever so hard to smile and say "No, I'm homeschooled" but you really just want to roll your eyes and walk away.
24. You've been outside during school hours and a cop has actually asked you why you're not in school.
25.You often avoid telling people you're homeschooled, just so you don't have to answer all the idiotic questions stated above.

You KNOW You Are A Homeschooling Family When....

You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.

When a child busts a lip, and after seeing she's okay, you round up some scotch tape to capture some blood and look at it under the microscope!

You find dead animals and actually consider saving them to dissect later.

Your children never ever leave the 'why?' stage.

When your teenager decides to take one community college course, and comes home and asks you why the teacher wrote 'At' on his paper. (A+)

You ask for, and get, a copier instead of a diamond bracelet for your wedding anniversary.

Your kids think reading history is best accomplished while lying on the floor with their head resting on the side of their patient dog.

Your husband can walk in at the end of a long day and tell how the science experiment went just by looking at the house.

You never have to drive your child's forgotten lunch to school.

Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.

The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child's side or the teacher's side in a dispute at school.

If your child gets drugs at school, it's probably Tylenol.

Your neighbors think you are insane.

Your kids learn new vocabulary from their extensive collection of 'Calvin & Hobbes' books.

Your formal dining room now has a computer, copy machine, and many book shelves and there are educational posters and maps all over the walls.

You have meal worms growing in a container... .on purpose.

If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you're having a PTA meeting.

You take off for a teacher in-service day because the principal needs clean clothes.

You can't make it through a movie without pointing out the historical inaccuracies.

You step on math manipulative's on your pre-dawn stumble to the bathroom.

The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have put on your car.

If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle-working expert and will turn to you for advice.

Your kids refer to the neighbor kids as 'government school inmates.'

You can't make it through the grocery produce department without asking your preschooler the name and color of every vegetable.

You can't put your produce in your cart without asking your older student to estimate it's weight and verify accuracy.

You live in a one-house schoolroom.

Top 20 Advantages To Homeschooling

Top 20 Advantages to Homeschooling

20. Your kids never tell you that you’re a lot dumber than their teacher.

19. If you can’t find matching socks for your child first thing in the morning, who cares?

18. Cleaning out the refrigerator can double as chemistry lab.

17. Your kids have good reason to think they might get spanked in school, but no reason to think they’ll get beat up by a gang.

16. If the principal gives the teacher a bad evaluation, she can stick her icy feet against his legs at night.

15. You can post the Ten Commandments on your school room wall and won’t get sued.

14. You never have to drive your child’s forgotten lunch to school.

13.Your child will never go to their 20th high school reunion, meet an old flame, and recklessly abandon their marriage.

12. You get to change more than diapers, you get to change their minds.

11. If you get caught talking to yourself, you can claim you’re having a PTA meeting.

10. It’s better to be slightly concerned about socialization than very concerned about socialism.

9. Your child will never suffer the embarrassment of group showers after PE.

8. The only debate about the school lunch program is whose turn it is to cook.

7. You never have to face the dilemma of whether to take your child’s side or the teacher’s side in a dispute at school.

6. If your child gets drugs at school, it’s probably Tylenol.

5. The teacher gets to kiss the principal in the faculty lounge and no one gossips.

4. Your kids recognize that this list is numerically in reverse order.

3. Your honor student can actually read the bumper sticker that you have on your car.

2. If your child claims that the dog ate his homework, you can ask the dog.

1. Some day your children will consider you to be a miracle working expert and will turn to you for advice.

(taken from http://homeschooling.gomilpitas.com/index.htm)

You Know You Were Homeschooled.. because...

For All Homeschoolers...

You Know You Were Homeschooled because...

1. You went to school in your PJs.
2. Your biology lab consisted of assisting in your sibling's birth.
3. Your stacks of books to check out was taller than the librarian.
4. Your PE came from chasing little toddlers around.
5. Your school bus was a 9 passenger van.
6. You considered school work after lunch to be cruel and unusual punishment.
7. Your father ever told the check-out lady at Wal-Mart, "We're on a field trip."
8. Your social life was viewed by some to be one rung lower than that of a Benedictine monk.
9. Your teacher ever wrote your report card on a napkin.
10. You had to move dirty laundry off your desk before you could start school.
11. The signatures on your diploma all end with the same last name.
12. Everyone else in the world was referred to as "Non-homies."
13. Your Mother's wardrobe consisted primarily of denim jumpers.
14. Your first real date was on your honeymoon.
15. The word 'homework' sounded like a foreign language.
16. Your yearbook was also your babybook.
17. A snow day meant that you had to shovel the driveway after you finished your school work.
18. You enjoyed the pastime of watching public school kids walk home from school.
19. You had to look at the clock to see if you could call your public school friends yet.
20. You thought that "public-school-kid" was an insult of the highest degree.
21. Health class consisted of eating breakfast.
22. You had to decide what year you wanted to graduate.
23. You were always late but just called it "homeschooler time."
24. You can remember nearly every single day you went to public school.
25. The teacher could kiss the principal, and no one thought it was unusual.
26. You got to school and the teacher asked you if you've done all your chores.
27. You are one of the best people in the world!
28. Your friends talked about waiting in line for seven hours to try out the new roller coaster in town, so you went and waited five minutes on a school day.
29. Your school lunches contained any food item easily identifiable to a person without a microscope and extensive scientific knowledge.
30. You've ever listened to Beethoven and Michelle Branch on the same day. Not counting music lessons.
31. Gym class was actually a fun activity like swimming.
32. You're on a first-name basis with the clerks at the local bookstore.
33. The closest thing to a bully in your school was your slightly strange two-year-old sister.
34. Your friends complained about a hard day at school, and you had to keep yourself from giving them "that homeschooling smile."
35. You heard the phrase "socialization" and laughed because you had more friends and knew more people than your public school friends.
36. Your school dress code was: No Nudity Allowed
37. You didn't own a television
38. You were firmly convinced that high school causes brain damage
39. You slept in till 9 am on weekdays but got up at 7 am on Sundays
40. You have more siblings than sweaters
41. You knew what a 'Park Day' is
42. Your favorite author was Jane Austen, G.K. Chesterton, or P.G. Wodehouse
43. You have ever suffered through Saxon Math
44. All birthdays were school holidays
45. You have ever finished your schoolwork before breakfast
46. You taunted high schooled friends during finals week
47. You spent more than 2 hours each day reading and writing....voluntarily
48. You are 16 years of age or older and still have never been on a date
49. You knew what "Unit Studies" were
50. You had more than 2 science experiments going on in your room
51. You knew more than 1 Latin paradigm
52. You have ever spent the entire school day in pajamas
53. You regularly utilized words such as "malingering", "tedious", and "indubitably"
54. You considered sled riding phys ed
55. Your IQ is greater than your weight
56. You checked out more than 10 books each time you visited the library
57. You have ever attempted to teach yourself physics
58. When asked about your GPA, you said, "Oh, probably 4.0."
59. You had no idea as to what rock bands were popular then...but you could recite all of the stages of cellular mitosis (in order).
60. You believed that you were the most intelligent human in your age bracket within a ten mile radius.
61. You actually wanted to receive books on your birthday
62. Cleaning your room counted as Phys-Ed.
63. Your field trip took you overseas.
64. Shop class included watching your brother fix his car.
65. Your track meet was riding into town to race bikes with a friend.
66. Your mom wished you'd stop reading and do something else for a change.
67. Your bedroom was your classroom and your bed or floor was the desk.
68. You stayed up till whenever, and not because you were doing homework.
69. You could get days ahead in almost any subject.
70. You recorded, planned and graded your own school work.
71. You forgot about the minor holidays until you saw your dad sitting home in sweats or your public school friends asked you over the weekend what you did on your day off.
72. You didn't know what spring break was.
73. Your mom counted watching a war movie as history and playing out in the snow as PE.
74. You had more friends way older and younger than you than ones your actual age.
75. You read for fun